Purina Cat Chow: Cat Care Center: Emotional: Scared, Shy or Standoffish Behavior

Physical. Emotional. Complete.® - That's the Purina® Cat Chow® Way of Life®

Subjects in this section include: how to keep your cat happy when you're away, toys and playtime, bringing a new animal into your home, feline depression, and more.

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Author, cat lover, and a big believer in simplifying vet medicalese Specialty: Emotional

Topic: Scared, Shy or Standoffish Behavior

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My new cat is scared of everything, including me! How can I help her be less jumpy?

Our cat refuses to be held. Sydney, our one and half year old cat, is very independent. Is this normal? Our past cats enjoyed being held most of the time. Could this behavior be because of something that happened early in the cat's life? What can we do to make her more loving?

Why do most cats run and hide when someone/thing new is around?

Why is my cat standoffish sometimes and lovable others times (mostly standoffish)?

What if you know you need to leave your cat alone because she is shy but you can't help but not pick her up?

Before I had my last son, my cat followed me everywhere, slept with me and sat on my lap. The first day we brought my son home from the hospital she peed right next to my husband and now she still wants nothing to do with me and she has attached to my husband. Why is this?

We have a kitten who is not very friendly with anyone, not even us. You get near him and he runs, if you try to feed him out of your hands he tries to slap the food out of your hand to eat it. We borrowed his brother from my grandmother to loosen him up and the two of them play very well with each other but he just does not like people. What can I do to get him to loosen up?

When we got my female cat about 4-5 months of age she was very affectionate and loved to play. Somewhere around 1 to 1-1/2 years of age she started to get cranky with everyone except myself, except when she is in heat, then she likes everyone in the house who is male. She hisses for no good reason and scratches, and in general has turned mean. Is there a cause for this other than personality?

How can I get my young cat to allow me to brush her? She had a very traumatic life before she came to us and is afraid of the cat brush and her nail clippers. As soon as she sees either, she runs from us and hides.

I have a Maine coon female who I purchased at 6 months of age and I've had her for 5 years. She is still too timid for me to pick up or groom properly without traumatizing her. She wants to be loved and petted but is just too scared. I don't think she was socialized properly as a kitten. Is there something I can do to help her?

My year old indoor-outdoor male cat is being visited by more and more intact males from the neighborhood which scares him and makes his mood terrible even when he's kept inside. As many as three have intimidated him in one day. What can I do to keep them away? What are other things I should do?

My 6-year-old female is a sweet loving cat when it’s just me around. When my parents come by, she is aloof but well behaved. However, when my boyfriend comes over, she's calm one minute and extremely aggressive the next toward him and sometimes me. The aggression is getting worse, and I wonder if I should consider putting her on medication?

Our overweight cat doesn't socialize with us and when we try to socialize with her she walks away.

My cat was not skittish as a kitten but now runs when people come to the house. He is normally a very friendly, outgoing cat. How do I make it so he is not so skittish?

Is it true male cats are more friendly as a rule? Why?

When we adopted Misty, she was not extremely outgoing, but she became even more distant after a traumatic vet visit. Then we adopted two pups and Misty disliked them both. She shows up for meals but promptly leaves, hardly ever sticks around for petting or anything. We adopted another kitten in hopes of bringing her around but she hates him even more than the dogs. She has gotten so mean she growls and swats at any attempt to pet her and is violent to the veterinarian. I’ve had her almost a year; I know my mistakes are not her fault so I don’t want to put her down, but I’m at my wit’s end.

My fiancée and I adopted our 5 month old cat when he was eight weeks old. We take great care of him and both see him quite a bit, me more than my fiancée (we do not live together). When my fiancée and I are both home, my cat hisses at me and will defecate on the floor or while running. My problem started about one week before he was neutered and is occurring once every other week. It only lasts a few hours and then he is back to his normal self.

We have had a cat for 3-1/2 years now. She used to be loving with everyone; even the other cat. We now have a son who is 15 months old and she hisses at EVERYONE now and growls at us. We have taken her to the vet but she is physically fine. Help! We are thinking of getting rid of her.

My 3-year old female spayed cat suddenly spooked and clawed me when I tried to pick her up. She has never done this before.

My cat is a very jumpy cat; he takes off at any sudden noise. Is there a way to relax him and assure him that there is no need to run away? He loves to ask for attention by crying and rubbing against me, but when I try to pet him or scratch him, he avoids me or runs away. Why?

I have a fairly skittish cat that can't stand other people nor other cats. I've tried adopting other cats but it's never worked out, so we had to get rid of them. Then the other day a friend brought their cat over and she attacked him. Now she has found a neighboring cat to be her mate and does not attack him. How come she attacked the other cats and not him. Why did she choose him and not one of the others?

My soon-to-be 2 year old cat, doesn't like to be held, groomed or cuddled with. It seems that she's anti-social with people. How can I get her out of that state?

My cat seems to love the dark, despise the light. I find her hiding anywhere it is light. She's warm and affectionate if there are no lights on, but runs away if I'm in a room with lights. Why?

Our cat recently lost his tail in a home accident, and I wanted to know what we could do to make the cat feel safe with us again.

Help, summer is coming and my cat is terrified of the ceiling fan. I turned on the ceiling fan the other day for the first time since adopting my kitten last fall. As soon as the fan came on the cat took off as if he'd been shocked and would not come out from under the bed for several hours. When he did come out and saw the ceiling fan was still on he went right back under the bed. What should I do so I can run my fans and not traumatize the cat?

Our pet snake frightened my 2-year-old cat. Now he doesn’t like to be in the house and is very skittish about any noise or movement. He sits at the door and cries to get out. What can I do to get him to relax?

We adopted our 5-year-old Leonard 7 months ago. He's been pretty skittish so far - loud noises scare him, and it took a long time before he'd even think about going near an open window. But now that the weather is warm, he's terrified of our fans! He's holed up under the bed and won't come out to eat or use the litter box - he uses the nearest closet instead. Today I had to run him to the litter box before he peed on my clean laundry! Does this sound like a phase that he'll outgrow or does he need some kind of help?

My cat is 1-1/2 years old and is extremely afraid of the rain hitting the roof, along with the thunder. One the storms lasted most of the night and by morning he was so stressed I had to bring him to my veterinarian because this brought on an asthma attack. When they took an x-ray he also revealed an enlarged heart. He stayed in the hospital for three days and gave us quite a scare. He doing better now and is home but we are having more rainstorms and he is still stressing pretty bad. He is on heart medicine and Vetalog for his asthma, but now I'm afraid of him having another episode like before because of the storms. Do you have any ideas on what I can do for my cat to help him keep calm during one of these storms, especially when I am not home to keep an eye on him?

My kitten is nearly a year old, but she still jumps at any sudden movement, and hides whenever we have company. She is very good and friendly around my husband, and especially myself. She will come up to me for affection whenever she wants it, and I do not pressure her for it unless she comes to me. I was wondering if she will always stay scared like this, and if I need to worry about her?

A few weeks ago I brought home a shiny helium balloon for my mom for her birthday. Maynard, 1-1/2 years old, displayed what I thought was a fear reaction to the floating shiny thing. It was strange only because I have never seen him so afraid. When I left that day and returned later in the evening I found that he had been hiding under my bed the entire day, not eating or anything. Of course I got rid of the menacing balloon. I'm just wondering why he was so afraid of it.

Our 5-year-old male cat Freddy suddenly won’t go out the door. He had a small mark on his back paw, which has now healed. He was always out, only coming in to eat and sleep but now, when the door is opened he runs away and hides. He is eating well and now has no external lumps, bumps or sore areas. He will stand being treated quite roughly without any intolerance suggesting no internal problems.

We have five felines. Four are very loving, happy cats, but one of them is always hiding from us. He is three years old and we have had him since he was a kitten. He socializes with the other cats when we are not present and he is healthy physically. What can we do?

I have a tabby cat that is almost two years old, an indoor cat and only exposed to people when they come to the house. She is generally a little nervous around new people, but she becomes terrified around men. She becomes frightened just by hearing their voice or just by seeing them. We adopted her when she was 2 months old and there was no history of abuse so far as we know and she has a very good relationship with my dad, she is very obedient with him, but is also very affectionate with him as well. We have resorted to keeping her in my room when we have company over for long periods of time to prevent a catastrophe. Do you have any suggestions as to where this behavior comes from or what we could do about it?

My husband and I have a 1 year old, very lovable, female cat. The other night my husband put the top part of his hair in a small ponytail just playing around. Our normally friendly and "brave" cat got so scared. Her tail poofed out and she took off running. I've never seen her act so scared. It scared me. Once the ponytail was gone she was still timid with him but seemed more or less fine. With all the different things I do to my hair she's never done that, what would make her so scared of his ponytail?

Why do cats hide a lot?

My 3-year old cat is very timid, except with my husband and me. We adopted her from a homeless cat shelter when she was six month old. She is normally very playful and friendly, but when she gets frightened, which is often, she usually hides under our bed. Sometimes she will not come out for a day and doesn't eat. We recently had our carpet cleaned and she hid in the basement for two days. What should we do to comfort her and to encourage her to come out when this happens?

My cat has begun a strange behavioral quirk in the last few weeks. He will walk into a room and see a certain thing, then eerily bend in fearful apprehension and slowly change course to avoid it. The problem is, there's nothing there! Nothing I can see anyway. What is this?

My cat is 5 years old. I have been her "mom" since she was 5 weeks old. When she was 3, we also got a dog, and chaos ensued in our house. She went to live outside. Two months ago, she disappeared, and to my surprise reappeared on the doorstep last Friday. Then I decided enough was enough, and she's at the vet now being thoroughly checked over and also declawed. She will stay inside the rest of her life. My question is this: Do you think she will be forever scarred by the experiences she has had? I want her to be happy, and I've always paid attention to her, even when she was outside, but I'm hoping she won't hold a grudge or have nightmares or something.

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	Mentor Steffen Runquist shares her years of experience in this video series

It is a myth that cats like to sneak into the nursery, lie on the baby's chest and suck their breath. Most cats shy away from babies as their noise and activity levels are unpredictable. It is recommended to keep cats out of the nursery.

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